I'm Late-but Thankful!
Being a squatter rather than a true and responsible citizen of this brave new world, I feel that the least I can do is post here once a year. August '08 came and went and I failed to discharge my duties. I'm not the most organized person around, and I have a whopping Can 'O Excuse for my tardiness in many areas of life. Why on earth, then, should I be slogging this post out on Thanksgiving morning, sitting here with wet hair when I am due at Thanksgiving Breakfast with the In-laws in less than an hour, with a turkey and several billion side dishes to cook, and with (insert the rest of whatever most of us have to do today, tomorrow and forever here)? Truth be told, it's probably because that's how I roll ...always have. However, Linda deserves a share in the responsibility for this one, for I can't leave her post today unanswered.
First, my friend, thank you for your birthday wishes, thank you for understanding, and thank you for Linda. Wouldn't have you any other way either, although I think you'd do well to follow Amanda's lead in creative hairstyling. It could be a good look; shaking things up might be fun.
Second, thank you for always writing a creative and thoughtful post. How many people can actually SAY who and when declared this day of Thanksgiving in this nation for the first time...and in the midst of an earlier time of frightening uncertainty for the United States of America? To be thankful in the face of fear is to affirm faith. I can only imagine what President Lincoln thought of in the wee small hours in 1863...
Third: I'm thankful that I am still treading along as well, mindful that it would take little to change that, and prayerful for the future. God bless us, Everyone!.
First, my friend, thank you for your birthday wishes, thank you for understanding, and thank you for Linda. Wouldn't have you any other way either, although I think you'd do well to follow Amanda's lead in creative hairstyling. It could be a good look; shaking things up might be fun.
Second, thank you for always writing a creative and thoughtful post. How many people can actually SAY who and when declared this day of Thanksgiving in this nation for the first time...and in the midst of an earlier time of frightening uncertainty for the United States of America? To be thankful in the face of fear is to affirm faith. I can only imagine what President Lincoln thought of in the wee small hours in 1863...
Third: I'm thankful that I am still treading along as well, mindful that it would take little to change that, and prayerful for the future. God bless us, Everyone!.
posted by Mizcyn at 8:00 AM
5 Comments:
Ah, 'tis your annual post and how appropriate that it appears on your birthday giving the rest of us a present!
Hope that you had a happy Thanksgiving despite the fact that it's a day when we all drive ourselves over the deep end in trying to outcook and outeat ourselves ... hmm, something there doesn't sound quite right but I'll let it slide!
Thank YOU for being YOU - don't ever change as I love you just the way you are!
Dear Cyndi,
I was going to come by yesterday in between doing stuff, but like you I'm not as organized as I would like to be. Someday ...
Happy belated Birthday! Our son is a November baby too - the 23rd. He turned 18.
I've gotten to know your best friend, and I'm so glad I have. We both live in Connecticut and have met twice, and hope to get together again soon.
Hey Cyn...
The Teamster and I wish you and yours a happy thanksgiving and a wonderful birthday... a bit belated.
(My "baby" sister cynthia turned...um...43 on the 27th)
Let me know if you manage to lure MizLin back to the left coast.
take care!
Okay ... so ... you're gone and you're never going to read this or perhaps you will. I'd like to think that if anyone could make their way back from the great beyond to read a blog comment that it would be you - provided you even remembered that you had this blog which I'm thinking you probably didn't because if you did, you probably would have set it to private or deleted it or some such annoying thing. So, I'm glad you forgot but I hope that you get an email notification or something over in the great beyond to let you know that **I** didn't forget and that I am eternally happy that there will always be a small part of you here in the electronic universe.
Anyhow ... it's only been about a week since you left us and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you're gone. I'm also still waiting for that tap on the shoulder or kick in the ass that I would expect from you from the other side but as I told a friend the other evening, perhaps you're still going through orientation or initiation or rearranging the clouds to your own liking or something and just haven't had a chance to come by and let me know you arrived safely at your final destination and that they've got Pepsi and decent Mexican food. After all, it's been less than a week.
And you aren't supposed to be dead yet. You really aren't. When I left you in Sacramento you were rejoicing over the chance to have a shower and put on your new "granny duster" with your beloved husband at your side. In spite of the fact that you had a ventilator doing most of your breathing for you, you were doing well. I had high hopes that you were going to do as well as possible in spite of all and that I'd have the chance to see you again. Hell, woman, I even bought a plane ticket and was planning on flying back out in April to spend a week with you and then do it again as many times as possible after that. And I would have but you left before I could see you again.
I'm trying not to be selfish; I'm trying to look on the "positive" side of this and be thankful that you didn't have to suffer the worst of ALS and that you didn't have to worry about medical bills piling up but sometimes it's hard to look at such a devastating loss as any sort of a blessing. Sometimes the only way to look at a loss is as a loss. So, yea, I'm being selfish and to quote John Denver, "More than anything else I'm sorry for myself, I can't believe you went away."
So ... what do I do now, my friend? Where do I turn to when I need a good dose of reality or a load of ballast to keep me on an even keel or someone to tell me that maybe I can lie to myself but I can't lie to them. Oh sure, I have some very good friends and I am thankful for all of them but none of them are you and none of them will ever be able to be you. Remember how I told you that you couldn't possibly expect anyone to take your place with Jeff so stop trying to pawn him off? Well, same thing here. No one can possibly take your place nor do I expect/want them to. So, I guess you're just going to have to listen to me talk (just as you have done so many times over the years) but unfortunately, you aren't going to be able to talk back. Which sucks. But don't expect me to stop. You were my rock for too long for that to change now.
So, anyhow, when you get the chance, stop by in a dream or something and let me know how things are going over there; give me some sort of sign that all of the suffering that you went through here on earth earned you a mighty fine spot in heaven. If the Mormons are right and there are seven levels I want to know that you, my dear friend, are in the penthouse suite because that's where you belong.
Well, no ... you belong here on earth still but obviously that's not an option so I am going to comfort myself with the fact that you are dancing with the angels and drinking for a never-empty glass of Pepsi with lots of ice.
I miss you; don't be surprised if I stop by to visit here on occasion. Just remember to check your comments once in awhile, okay?
Love always,
Yogi
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