The Things We Do For Love...
If there's a contest for collecting the most blogs on various sites and ignoring the existence of all, let me know. We have a winner here!
It's not that I have nothing to say. It's a personal problem with consistency.
The property of holding together and retaining my shape is not the sort of consistency that keeps these pages cheerfully blank. What we have here is a choice from column B: consistency as harmonious uniformity or agreement among things or parts.
Harmonious 'R Us, but uniformity is relative. Lurking about the blogosphere whenever possible is fun, but uniformity in this world requires regular posting, coupled with visits to and comments on other blogs on a more-or-less consistent basis. Honestly, my life has little wiggle room for personal pursuits; my heart and inclinations lie elsewhere at the moment.
So here I'll stay, squatting on my cozy electron of cyberspace, possession of which allows me to comment without the hassle of typing in those annoying contorted letters required of anyone flying in stealth mode. My homestead makes it easier to stalk Supermom, who is not only a witty, devoted and insightful blogger, but a great judge of character. Hence, this site.
Please turn on the lights and bring the cat in when you leave.
See ya.
It's not that I have nothing to say. It's a personal problem with consistency.
The property of holding together and retaining my shape is not the sort of consistency that keeps these pages cheerfully blank. What we have here is a choice from column B: consistency as harmonious uniformity or agreement among things or parts.
Harmonious 'R Us, but uniformity is relative. Lurking about the blogosphere whenever possible is fun, but uniformity in this world requires regular posting, coupled with visits to and comments on other blogs on a more-or-less consistent basis. Honestly, my life has little wiggle room for personal pursuits; my heart and inclinations lie elsewhere at the moment.
So here I'll stay, squatting on my cozy electron of cyberspace, possession of which allows me to comment without the hassle of typing in those annoying contorted letters required of anyone flying in stealth mode. My homestead makes it easier to stalk Supermom, who is not only a witty, devoted and insightful blogger, but a great judge of character. Hence, this site.
Please turn on the lights and bring the cat in when you leave.
See ya.
posted by Mizcyn at 8:46 AM
30 Comments:
I came here from your friend Linda's blog, Are We There Yet.
You don't know me, but I wanted to offer you my appreciation for the difficult decision you face in putting your son into a care facility. I can't imagine what you must be going through.
Good luck and take care.
Linda sent me.. I just wanted to say that I admire you hugely for what you have done for your son, and to say that I believe that no matter what, deep down inside where he truly is Daniel, he knows and understands and loves you all the more for everything you have done.. the battles you have fought and won, and the undying love you have for him despite and even because of his illness. You are yourself a Supermom, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours as you travel through this difficult time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Being a parent is a beautiful, rewarding, inspiring and heartbreaking job. I wish you strength and courage.
I am not a parent, and you may argue that I'd never know exactly how you're feeling at the moment, but I pray that you will have faith in the care-givers, and believe that they will give Daniel the best care they could afford, and they will love Daniel just like their own kids.
I was a volunteer at a local Handicap Centre, and I've personally known an autistic young boy.
I will pray for you, for Jeff and for Daniel. Take care, and *hugs*
Cyndi,
I’ve found you via Linda as well. I have friends who are facing some of the same decisions as you are with their son Nicholas who is about the same age as your Daniel.
I admire you and your family highly. I pray for your insight as you investigate your options….a calm mind to make the best decision possible…and the strength to undertake whatever you decide.
Your friend Linda cares very deeply for you. Lean on her whenever you can…she seems like a solid rock of a woman. And hey….if you find the time…join into this bizarre land of blogs.
Linda sent me over too.
I have a boy who's 3 with PDD. I'll cry with you any day.
My prayers go to you and your family. God Bless You.
The only thing that comes to mind about letting him know you're there even when you're not comes from when my second son was in the NICU. He had a Dandle Doll. It's a piece of flannel shaped like a doll. I wore it under my shirt for a couple of days, then they put it in his crib. He'd have my smell with him even when I had to leave. It gave me comfort. I still have that doll. For a 20 year old....I'd use a flanned pillowcase.
As a pedi nurse working in a hospital that specialized in problems such as Cerebal Palsy, Spina Bifida and others I dealt with many families who had gone through what you're facing. Every one of them struggled. Each of the ones that I got to know were grateful for the strength to make the decision later. One mother in particular that I became close to said that the people in her son's home were like extended family. I pray that you will have a similar experience. Can you stay with him for a few nights?? Make it more of a gradual transition?
Well, God Bless. My heart aches for you.
Here from linda's blog. I'd be careful with that one, she hacked your blog to leave comments again!
It must be so hard for you both right now, even though I'm sure you've known this day was coming for a long time.
But keep going with it. You've done an amazing job.
Over from Lindas too :)
My sister works with adults that have all sorts of learning difficulties, she works in a respite centre in the Highlands of Scotland.
There is not much i can say to make you feel better, but when i have been to visit my sister i often pop into the centre and its a lovely place. The staff including my sister are lovely people and i think they have a calling to do this job.
I am sure this is the right decision for you and Daniel :)
Start posting again and we will try and help you get through this difficult time.
Linda is wonderful and i know she will be a big help to you :)
Your friend, Linda, explained your pain, we are here to comfort you, even though we have no solution. Good luck and our very best wishes.
i cannot imagine your pain honey but you have my comfort and my cyber hugs and thoughts and prayers. i am so sorry. just ever so sorry.
smiles and hugs, bee
Hi Cyndi..
I'm here because you are so lucky to have Linda as a friend. And I am so lucky to be the one sharing a console with her now :) Whatever you did to train her as a partner has obviously worked! Long live Team Red!
Anyways, I can't imagine what you are going through right now. just know that our thoughts are with you and you have great friends out there that will do just about anything they can for you.
Once you are feeling better PLEASE come out to CT and visit us. I have heard so much about you that I feel as if I know you already and there would be nothing more fun than painting the town red with you and Linda..... I am sure you know how funny she is when you can manage to get a few drinks in her!!!!!
Best of luck my friend!
Hi Cyndi, I'm also here from Linda's site.
I have a friend with an autistic 17-year old son and recently she asked me to get involved in an organization she founded for parents of children with autism.
good luck to you and your husband with this decision
Miz Cyn,
Hi, I'm "Bulldog", Linda's friend from work as well as regualar commentor on her blog. She sent a bunch of us over to give you the love & support you so richly deserve...!
Ma'am, I can't even BEGIN to imagine what you & your husband has had to go through, both emotionally AND physically for your son, Daniel. All I know is that you must have the strength of 1,000!! It has been said that people who seem like they are "disconnected" due to coma, or other conditions really aren't. Without a doubt, Daniel must know all that you & your husband has done for him, and the unconditional love you have for him. In another place beyond this one, far into the future, he will be able to tell you this, and then you shall know. You personify love, strength, perseverance, and loyalty, and the "Man Upstairs" is paying attention to that. May angels comfort you here on earth, and bring peace to you, your husband, and most of all to Daniel!
Linda sent me here too. My little princess -Maya - my 3-year-old granddaughter, was just evaluated and diagnosed this past April and is autistic -PDD-NOS, high functioning. No matter where one's loved one is on the spectrum, it is indeed a very scary ride at times but that doesn't change the love in our hearts to try to provide the best possible care for them either.
As I told Linda in my comments to her, my aunt -age 90 -and her daughter (only child)-age 50 -were placed in a nursing home a year ago this month. They share a room there. My cousin is severely mentally and physically challenged from cerebral palsy, mental retardation from birth defects caused by RH factor. My aunt absolutely refused to place her daughter in a home, believing no one could care for her better than she could. And if love were the only factor there, no one could ever challenge her belief in that respect. Today, my aunt is failing mentally and physically. Her daughter though is thriving in the nursing home! Which for me, my cousins, my kids, is good to see that she at least, is doing well as we knew this was the inevitable thing for her.
If you ever want to reach out -touch someone - feel free -as we are, by and large, a very empathetic community and regardless of the issues we all face, everyone needs a shoulder to lean on every now and again, especially when facing a situation like yours. Prayers for you and your husband and for Daniel, that the transition goes as smoothly as possible.
Peace be with you.
My friend Linda has sent me here. She told of the fine job that you do. Well done. You must have great inner strength and spirit.
Good luck; I shall think of you.
I am here from your dear friend Linda's, Are We There Yet.
You don't know me either, but to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and the entire family as you struggle with this difficult decision.
Hi, I came via Linda's blog too. I'm sure there's little I can say that will make you feel better but as a mother we all have to face our children moving on in one way or another at some point in their lives. If you take a little of this on board it might help easy some of that pain. What you need to remember is you achieved caring for your son for 20 years, many would fail. Stay strong x x x
Hi Cyndi - Linda over at Are We There Yet? sent me over. After reading the heartfelt post she did about you and your husband having to make probably the toughest decision of your lives, it made want to give the both of you a big hug. I can't imagine and I have a son and two grandchildren.
We are all out here for you. If your Linda's friend then you are our friend too. It's just that simple. Take care and you are all in my prayers.
Sandee
Also here via Linda.
If you think prayers are OK, you have them; if you don't, you are still in my thoughts.
My best to you and your family at this difficult time.
I also found this site from Linda. I couldn't imagine all that you do for your son. I used to work with someone with a young autistic child, and he had lots to say about the challenges with the school system regarding his son. I am getting involved in the same organization that Patti mentioned for parents of children with autism. We don't have autistic children but being disabled myself (MD, wheelchair) I understand a bit about society's view about disabled. Good luck
I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug and tell you that my ♥ is with you. I know that right now you are going through a very difficult time and I wanted to offer up my thoughts and prayers to you and yours.
My...after reading everyone's heartfelt thoughts and words, so eloquently put, there's no way I can add anything except to tell you that and Linda are truly blessed having such a wonderful friendship!
My cousin has a son in a care facility. It was a very tough decision for her and her husband but the only one they could make. He's done very well and is quite happy and that has been their solace.
My prayers go out to you...
~~~Blessings~~~
I am here from Linda's blog to offer my own words of support and caring as you, your husband, and your son make the transition to a new living arrangement. The three of you are and will be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time and beyond. {hugs...}
It is great you have such a freind as Linda.
The choice you face is as tough as one faces with a parent who has become dehabilitated. We would like to think we will be the eternal rock, but there comes a time to make long term choices that are in everyone best interests.
Putting your son in the right home where he will be well cared for will leave you in better spirits and with more energy to spend quality time with him.
He will get the care that he needs long term and you should not feel guilty or ashamed for making such a decision.
My two cents
As a fellow blogger, my thoughts and prayers are with you... I admire you strength and determination
Cyndi,
Our prayers for comfort are with you.
As a school nurse with several autistic children passing through my door, I can only imagine the energy it takes to care for them. God Bless You for taking care of His child all these years.
You and your husband have earned a special place in Heaven. It's time to take care of you...
Sincerely, A Friend of Linda's
Dear Cyndi,
I'm here via your beautiful and loving friend Linda. Your story has touched my heart and I wanted to send some love, support, and prayers your way.
I think you are an amazing woman and if anyone in this world deserves the title of supermom, it'd be you. You are an inspiration.
I have a son with disabilities and I don't know what the future will bring but I have just a little more courage now because of someone like you.
I popped over from Linda's blog to say whatever decisions you make regarding your son are the right ones. As parents only you can make those decisions.
My son and his partner could have been facing the same dilema with their two children Reece and Sophie now, had it not been for the fact that they did not survive beyond the age of 5 and 3 respectively. I'm sure you will have chosen your son's new home with the utmost care and consideration and you will still be able to visit your son and tell him you love him,that's the most important thing.
My thoughts are with you in your dilema, be strong and I send you much love and Reiki blessings.
Hi Cyndi:
There are many times throughout the raising of our children that we do things they may not like in their best interests saying, "You'll thank me for this later." We know at the time that our child needs what we are making them endure, even though our hearts break for putting them through it. Your son is very lucky to have parents like you and your husband. To make every effort at giving him what he needs, whether that is caring for him at home or placing him with people who are trained and dedicated to ensuring his well being. Your son may not be able to thank you later for this, so I will for him. I do so knowing that any friend of Linda's would take the utmost care to make the right decision for her child after long and painful deliberation. So, as a parent who may not understand the full depth of your anguish right now, but who has also done things for her child that she will thank me for later... thank you. Take care and God bless.
Linda sent me along. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Mrs Ed has read a lot about a lady called Temple Gradin and was wondering if there was anything from her history that could help in some way. Take care
Ed
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